Live the Life You Have Imagined: 4 Lessons

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.” -- Henry David Thoreau

SPORT CAN BE a metaphor for life.

The thinking goes like this: By taking part in athletics, we learn to commit to a worthy endeavor, we come to understand that fear can be channeled into positive motion and we learn to push past what we thought was possible. That forces us to recalibrate our self-image which sends our confidence skyward and our lives on higher arcs.

If indeed this is true, then the sport of triathlon may be the ultimate metaphor for life.

On April 1^st, my wife Alexandra and I completed the Lavaman Triathlon on the big island of Hawaii. It was my first professional triathlon in a couple of years -- and it was Alex’s first triathlon in all of her years.

It was an extraordinary day for us both, mostly because we shared the experience. After finishing my event, I hopped on my bike and pedaled the last portion of the 25-mile ride with her, and then we ran every step of the 10k run together.

As is often the case with triathlon, many life lessons were revealed, and reconfirmed. Here are four that we experienced:

LESSON #1: Most things are not as difficult as they seem.

We tend to build up difficult tasks in our mind. At a point, the mental barriers can become more formidable than the physical ones. Once we finish the task, we often think to ourselves: “That wasn’t so tough! I made too big a deal of that!"

So went the thinking for Alexandra and her triathlon. I was her coach for the six weeks leading up to the event, and while she was well incredibly well prepared (I was her coach…come on!), her doubts grew as race day neared. Understandable. The triathlon can be a daunting challenge. But, the doubts started to erode her confidence forged from weeks of training, and she began to wonder if she should do the event at all. Fortunately, a glass of wine and some serious cajoling and wheedling on my part convinced her that she should.

And sure enough, with the aquamarine waters of Anaehoomalu Bay as a backdrop, Alex blazed across the finish line of the Lavaman Triathlon, completely besotted. On her face: a dazzling smile and a torrent of tears. The first thing she said was: “That was amazing! It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be! When can we do this again?”

When we were kids, we thought anything was possible. We didn’t give much thought to our own limitations. We’d see a tree, we’d climb it -- and we’d get stuck in it! The world was our oyster. Yet as we age, we tend to approach new challenges with more trepidation than optimism. We unconsciously list the reasons why we shouldn’t pursue something, rather than why we should. We become caution experts. That can chip away at our spirit, our sense of adventure, and our ability to have fun and feel youthful.

Sometimes, we need to get our mind out of the way and just go.

LESSON #2: We are stronger than we know.

Human beings have a phenomenal capacity for heroism. Ordinary people achieve extraordinary feats every day. We all have this power in us, but the mundane, rote nature of daily life can “tamp down” that heroic fire in each of us. Participating in athletics can fan the flames and draw out our inner heroes.

Nowhere is this more evident than at the finish line of a triathlon.

At some point during the triathlon event, most people seriously question whether or not they can finish. But in the end, almost all of them do. Hundreds of competitors at the Lavaman Triathlon were first-timers, like Alex, and when they finished the event, each one of them felt heroic in the truest sense of that word. And, they were.

To me, being heoric comes down to one simple thing: hanging in there. Emerson said: “A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer.”

So, in sport or in life when you feel like you can’t take another step, take another step. Then, take another one. The fact is: regardless of how you feel at any given moment, you are much stronger than you know.

LESSON #3: We can do (almost) anything with the help of others.

One aspect of triathlon that never ceases to amaze and inspire me is the volunteers. These are regular folks who give up their Sundays to pour everything they can into helping total strangers complete something of great importance to them.

In a triathlon, the volunteers arrive early and stay late. Many of them stand in the hot sun, at aid stations, handing energy drinks and food to people as they hurry past. The volunteers cheer their hearts out all day long: “Go! You can do it! You look great! You’re amazing!” And, they mean every word of it.

No matter how I’m feeling in a triathlon, when I run past a cheering group of volunteers, a surge of energy and emotion rushes through me like electricity. I think it has to do with the fact that when others genuinely believe in you, you feel like you can do anything.

America is the land of “rugged individualism”; this is the notion that all individuals, or nearly all individuals, can succeed on their own. But the fact is when we work together, when we ask for help, when we cheer others on -- and mean it -- we can accomplish great feats. We simply need to be willing to give, and accept, the help from others.

LESSON #4: Life is a series of notable moments. Make the most of each one.

You’ve likely heard this countless times: “Seize the day. Make the most of every moment.” Wonderful advice, but the fact is: it’s not always possible. In life, most moments cannot be “seized” or “made the most of.” When I’m sitting in traffic and I’m cranky and dehydrated and hypoglycemic, there’s no way I’m going to “seize the moment.”

It’s when you happen upon “notable moments” (special time with your kids, a tender kiss, an athletic event, a success at work) that you must make the very most of it.

It’s also important to will those “notable moments” into your life. As Apollo Creed said to Rocky Balboa in the film Rocky II: “There is no tomorrow. There is no tomorrow!” The corniness of that scene and my suspect taste in movies notwithstanding, there really is no tomorrow. What we do, who we are and what we have is right here, right now. By falling into the habit of putting off until tomorrow those things we should do today, we run the risk of never getting to them.

If you’ve always wanted to climb a mountain with your kids, do it. If you want to run a marathon, do it. It you want to marry the woman or man you love, do it. If you want to lose 50 pounds, DO IT! Don’t want until the first of the month, or your birthday or the “perfect moment” or the summer solstice or harmonic convergence. Start planning it, and willing it, today.

Strive for your loftiest goals, because the fact is: most things are not as difficult as they seem, we are stronger than we know, we can do almost anything with the help of others and life is a series of notable moments. Make the most of each one -- and create as many as you can.

Fitness Mistakes That MOTIVATE

“What is defeat? Nothing but education; nothing but the first step to something better.” —Richard Sheridan, Playwright (1751-1816)

Obstacles, setbacks and errors are part of any diet and exercise program. Here’s how to use them to your advantage—even to inspire you to greater heights.

YOU NEEDN'T BE a conspiracy theorist to wonder if something -– or someone –- is secretly plotting to keep you from eating right and exercising each time an obstacle arises. Who’s in on it? Your demanding boss, inclement weather, the Stairmaster hog, nagging back pain, Ben and Jerry. Hurdles are part of the natural order in fitness. It’s not if you experience them in your exercise program, it’s what you do with them that matters. People who learn to use obstacles and setbacks to their advantage can enjoy greater success in fitness, and in life. “Making mistakes is a good thing,” says Todd Weitzenberg, M.D., a sports psychologist and sports medicine specialist at Kaiser Permanente in Santa Rosa, California. “You learn more because mistakes force more introspection than successes do. Mistakes can teach you how to improve your fitness program and your life.” As Friedrich Nietzsche said: “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” Use these expert strategies for not only moving beyond the obstacles, but also emerging stronger, more confident and in better shape because of them.

TIP: Identify your roadblocks
Ignoring the factors derailing your fitness is as detrimental as ignoring what’s causing your financial woes or anything else in life; matters only get worse. So identify what you’re doing or experiencing that’s contributing to the problem, then use that information to change your ways, fortify your resolve and improve yourself.

Try this Think back to past problematic fitness scenarios and write down 3-5 ways to resolve each one. For example, if knee pain kept you from exercising, your list may read: 1. Schedule appointment with knee specialist, 2. Get proper running shoes for my biomechanics, 3. Run on softer surfaces. If your diet always gets sidetracked in the evenings, your list may read: 1. Make heartier, healthier dinners, 2. Plan after-meal activities, 3. Go to bed earlier.

TIP: Change your mindset

By understanding the reasons behind your poor fitness and diet decisions, you can identify negative patterns and make positive future choices. “Understanding how our thought processes lead us to make certain decisions is integral to self-improvement,” says Dr. Weitzenberg.

Try this The next time you opt for a candy bar over a tuna salad or a rerun of “Friends” over a workout, pinpoint and write down what you were thinking at the time. For example: if you felt too tired to work out, write that down and then write down how to re-think that attitude (ie. “Working out will give me more energy, not less.”)

TIP: Trust your instincts

Sometimes missing a workout or indulging in a few extra fats is just what your body needs. Pay attention to how you’re functioning, and if you flat-out don’t have the energy to work out, give it a rest. Likewise, if you’re getting hunger pangs, eat! “The human body goes through distinct physiological changes over the course of each month, often referred to as circatrigintan rhythms,” says Murray Mittleman, M.D. a board member of The American Association of Medical Chronobiology and Chronotherapeutics. “These physical highs and lows are perfectly natural. So listen to your body and modify your fitness program accordingly day to day,” he says.
Try this When you’re experiencing a low in your exercise program, work with your body, not against it. During your time off, write down how a day of rest is helping to rejuvenate your body. When you fuel yourself with foods that your body is craving, make a mental note of how they’re sating your appetite, or how you felt afterwards—and use the power stored in those foods to supercharge workouts the following day.

TIP: Defy your drawbacks

In fitness, an “all or nothing” mentality can lead to frustration and destroy your motivation altogether. “If being a slow runner is preventing you from running, you’re being a self-defeating pessimist,” says Dr. Weitzenberg. “Turn it around: use that weakness as fuel. Run one mile around a track and record your time. Then dedicate yourself to running it faster every week, even if just by five seconds. You’ll be amazed at how focused and motivated that makes you.”

Try this Write down things that keep you from exercising or eating smart followed by clear, direct challenges to yourself. For example, “Weakness: I am a slow runner. Challenge: I will run three times a week until I can run one mile under 10 minutes. I will prevail!” or “Weakness: I give into late-night chocolate cravings too easily. Challenge: I will not buy chocolate for 30 days.” Post that on your bathroom mirror.

Having the courage to transform your fitness and diet weaknesses into strengths—and following through on that commitment—is a powerful skill that can also net big dividends in your life.